Updated May 2017…
Charisma, some people have it and some don’t! How often have we heard that comment?
Everyone agrees that is an important and desirable characteristic whether you are a salesperson, a team leader, a presenter or a teacher but it seems such an intangible thing. So what is it and how can you learn how to be more charismatic?
Wikipedia, the online reference source defines charisma as follows:
The word charisma (from the Greek word χάρισμα (kharisma), “gift” or “divine favor,” from kharizesthai, “to favor,” from kharis, “favor”: see also charism) refers to a rare trait found in certain human personalities usually including extreme charm and a ‘magnetic’ quality of personality …
If anything this definition just serves to reinforce the belief that it is rare and “god given”. Well, I happen to disagree. I believe that everyone is intrinsically charismatic but, through conditioning, many of us have learned to suppress our natural charisma. In my workshops, I use a range of methods to help people rediscover their own innate charisma and I’d like to share three ideas that, if you explore them, will help you learn how to be more charismatic by challenging your own limiting beliefs.
How to be more charismatic
Tip 1: Stop telling yourself that you are not a charismatic person.
The language we use when we talk to ourselves is much more powerful than we think. If you keep focusing on your lack of charisma and reminding yourself of it, should you really be surprised when you seem to be repelling and not attracting others?
Tip 2: Act as if you are charismatic
If you were at a networking event and you walked around with your shoulders slumped and your head down would you be more or less charismatic? If you gave only fleeting eye contact to others, gabbled nervously, and spoke inarticulately how will others rate you in the charisma stakes? Act as if you were charismatic by observing what charismatic people do and then emulating some of those traits. You will be amazed at the effect it has, both on others and on yourself!
Tip 3: Speak to others with the intention of raising their status and self-esteem.
There is much more to charisma than the way you look and sound. research has shown that charisma is a label given to us by others as a result of the way we make them feel. Charismatic people naturally boost the status of others when they interact with them. Former US president, Bill Clinton. is an excellent example of this. I know someone who met him and described vividly how, when he spoke to them, he gave them his full attention, listened intently and then responded with a comment that validated and built upon whatever they had said. He never tried to put them down. He knew the secret that when you raise the status of others in this way, you raise your own status too in a
Former US president, Bill Clinton. is an excellent example of this. I know someone who met him at a function. My friend described, in vivid detail, how, when Bill Clinton spoke to them, he gave them his full attention, which in turn made them feel important and valued.
He listened intently to them without interrupting, which reinforced their feeling of being heard and valued. It’s a sad fact but many people rarely get a”good listening to” because we are too busy thinking about the next thing that we are going to say.
Finally, Clinton responded with a comment that validated and built upon whatever my friend had said. He never tried to belittle them or put them down. He understood the power of making other people feel special. the secret that when you raise the status of others in this way, you raise your own status too in a non-threatening and magnetic way. To be more charismatic make others feel special
When you raise the status of others in this way, you raise your own status too in a non-threatening and magnetic way.
So there you have it, some practical ideas on how to be more charismatic. It’s quite simple but it’s not easy. Changing a lifetime of negative thinking or selfish conversational techniques takes time and effort but the benefits are more than worth the effort.
Imagine the effect it could have on your own career or business. I know these ideas work because I have personally used them myself, so do yourself a favour and give yourself a charisma transplant today.