Learn how adding one word to your self talk can help you become a better presenter.

Recently, at a networking event, I had the pleasure of speaking to lovely man called Peter Moore who runs a small domestic electricians business along with his son Russell.

We were talking about public speaking and he was telling me how he started out as a nervous and reluctant presenter and that that how, after forcing himself to practice, he now feels much more confident.   He then went on to share a little about his future aspirations as a speaker and I noticed that he used a particularly simple but powerful language pattern in his self talk.

He said that he wanted to be able to improvise and speak more spontaneously but he hadn’t quite got to that stage “yet“.

Our self talk is hugely important and the way we verbalise our goals and dreams plays a big part in whether we will achieve them or not. By using the word “yet” Peter was acknowledging the reality of his current situation and, at the same time, indicating that he would  achieve his goal in the future.   The word “yet”  contained the presupposition that the further improvement in his speaking ability was possible and would happen.

Contrast that with the self talk phrase “I’d love to be a more spontaneous speaker but I can’t do it.” The word “can’t” presupposes a lack of ability and offers no hope of future change. Take the same sentence and add “yet” to the end of it and the meaning is transformed.  Better still, remove the word can’t completely and transform the sentence into” I’d love to be a more spontaneous speaker but I haven’t mastered it yet.”

What are your favourite positive linguistic patterns and how do you harness the power of your self talk?

Gavin Meikle
The Presentation Doctor

In a slight digression from my normal posts, I’d like to share some thoughts about limiting beleifs and how they hold us back from realising our true potential, be that as a presenter, influencer, parent  etc.   I hope you enjoy this short (5min) audio podcast.

Just make sure your speakers are turned on and click on the little arrow below.

By now, if you are a regular reader of this blog on selling and influencing tips you will have worked out that each day I aim to tackle a different theme related to sales, presentation skills and influencing and that I revisit each theme every week with a new post.

I feel strongly that it is vital that, as well as looking at particular skills and behaviours, I address the subject of what is going on inside our heads and how that helps or hinders our own ability to use these skills.

I’d like to start in this article by jumping straight in to one of the major themes in this area , namely that of beliefs. Our beliefs drive our behaviours and are therefore a crucial element in improving our influencing skills. Whilst some of our beliefs are empowering, others may be severely limiting and could do with a spring clean!

When I raise the topic of beliefs in my sales and presentation skills seminars, I sometimes see some participants go pale. Some people equate beliefs with faith or religion and initially get hung up at the thought of the possibility of changing their beliefs. But when then think about it, they quickly realise that we can, and do, change our beliefs regularly as we develop. We do this most easily when we are young but as we get older, we get set in our ways and belief change seems a much bigger deal even though it need not be so. The key to freeing up our ability to continue to grow and develop is to remember that a belief is just a thought that we have ceased to question.

By now I hope you are at least open to accepting that attitudinal change is not only possible but also desirable when aimed at limiting beliefs that hold is back. Beliefs such as “I’m no good at selling” or “I’ve never been any good at public speaking” or “I’m not good enough to be really successful” can severely limit our ability to express our true potential.

Next week I’m going to share with some some proven belief change processes but before we do that, I need you to have done some homework. You see the key to successful change in the areas of selling, presenting or influencing is first to become aware of those things that we believe which are holding us back. Often we are unaware of them consciously but we give them away in our off the cuff remarks. Saying “I’ve got a terrible memory” means that you have a belief that your memory is bad. “I’m a terrible presenter” means I believe I can’t present well. “I’m not tough enough to be successful in sales” means that you believe that nobody can be successful in sales unless they are tough.

Now thankfully I’ve been training presenters and salespeople long enough to know that none of these beliefs is actually true, but if you think they are then that’s all that matters. However by now I’m sure that you would like to change so step 1 is to take time to jot down as many of the limiting beliefs you have about yourself as possible. Keep a log of them over the next week and we’ll start to look at ways of defusing them next week.

In the meantime, if you really can’t wait here’s step 2. Remember what I said earlier about a belief just being a thought that you have ceased to question, and ask yourself the following questions of each of the limiting beliefs you have uncovered.

1. Who’s belief is this really?
2. How do I know that this belief is really true?
3. What objective evidence do I really have to support the validity of this belief?
4. What counter examples can I find that challenge the validity of this belief?

Have fun exploring and look out for next week’s post for the next steps.