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Due to popular demand I am running two special open workshops in April 2008

Personal Productivity Secrets Workshop -Friday 4th April 2008
Our time is finite but the demands upon it are not.   More and more people like you are suffering from too much work abnd too little time syndrome.   If allowed to continue this results in stress, ineffectiveness, poor work/life balance and burnout.

If you have had enough, book a place on this course for just £167 plus Vat and learn how to regain control of your time. You’ll go away with a host of simple and practical life changing strategies.  If you think you are too busy to attend the course then you really do need to be there.   Places limited to 15 so book early (and receive an extra discount!)  See website for further details. 
www.inter-activ.co.uk/ppw

Confident Speaker and Networker - Thursday 24th April
If I had a pound for every poor business speaker I have heard, I’d be a very wealthy man.   How much are your nerves costing you?  How many prospective clients have you turned off with a poor presentation?   How many opportunities have you missed by being too scared to present at all?    Isn’t it time you did something about this irrational fear?

With a maximum limit of 8 people, you will get lots of personal and practical support whilst learning with others who are in a similar position.  You won’t believe the difference and day can make!  

Only £199+Vat  See our website for further details then book your place today!   www.inter-activ.co.uk/csn

I’ve been training presentation and public speaking skills for more than ten years now and today I’d like to share one thing I learned which has had the biggest single impact on the results I get.   If you are curious to know what it it, then read on.

I still remember the first bit of feedback I got when I stood up to give a talk.   The giver, no doubt intending to be helpful told me that I had said “um” 42 times in my three minute talk.   It’s all too easy to be critical but the question is, does giving critical feedback work?  Does it have the desired effect of improving performance and changing behaviour?   I’ve been a manager and a trainer for more than 20 years and I have learned the hard way that most critical feedback, no matter how well meant, has the opposite effect.  

Why should this be?   Well I’d like you first to follow the instructions in the following statement.

What ever you do, - Do not think of a purple elephant!   Under no circumstances should you think of a purple elephant!

So what happened?  Of course you couldn’t do anything else but imagine a purple pachyderm.   It’s the way or mind works, we cannot not think of something.   Our attention inevitably goes to the thing that is unwanted or forbidden.  

Now imagine you say to someone, “don’t keep saying um.  You have a habit of saying it at the end of every sentence and you must stop saying um if you are to improve.”   Immediately your attention is drawn to the very thing that you don’t want to do as an a result you do more of it!      “Energy flows where attention goes”

Now imagine i said to you this instead. “I want you to concentrate on saying nothing at the end of every sentence.  Put a pause in, as you think of the next thing you are going to say.”   Now notice what you focus on.

But there is more to it than this.   Critical feedback hurts! 

When I started teaching presentation skills I used to give lots of “constructive” feedback which inevitably meant pointing out things that people were doing wrong.    No matter how sensitively I gave this feedback, I could see the pain in the eyes of my students and despite their accepting nods, Is till saw the same unwanted behaviours repeated time after time.

 And then I went to America for an NLP trainers workshop. During those long hard three weeks we would all be expected to give lots of presentations but a the beginning of the course, Robert Dilts our tutor introduced the concept of “Positive Feedback Only”  He challenged us to focus on commenting solely on what we liked about the presenters delivery, structure or visual aids and other than that to phrase or suggestions for improvement in terms of  “what presenter could do more of that would make his talk even better”.

Initially we were all sceptical about this approach but we quickly discovered that it has a hauge impact on the presenter and people improved far faster than using traditional critical feedback techniques.  

When I got back from the States I incorporated this approach into my own one day workshops and the impact was huge!   The degree of improvement I started seeing over a day was at least 25% greater than previously.   So if you need some help with your presenting here are some suggestions to help you get the most change in the shortest possible time;

• Tell your audiences to keep any negative feedback to themselves but that you will be delighted to receive any amount of positive feedback.  My good friend Richard Wilkins does this at the start of every talk and it works a treat as well as getting a good laugh and lots of nods of agreement.
• Encourage others to confine their feedback to two areas - What specifically did I do that you liked or that worked?  What could I do more of that would make it even better.
• If you are looking for a trainer or coach, ask them how they give  feedback.  If the tell you that they will spend any more than 5% of the time telling you what you are doing wrong - walk away!  

A couple of night’s ago I attended my local Toastmasters club and one of the guest’s comments got me thinking….When people come to the club for the first time most are nervous and not a little afraid.

Standing up and speaking in front of a group of strangers can certainly be scary, at least in our own imagination. So where does that fear come from and what are we afraid of?

I wonder what is the worst thing you could possibly imagine happening to you in a presentation? Now imagine that you worst nightmare came true! What would be the real impact?

• Would you die? - Not really!
• You would get the sack? - Unlikely
• Would people laugh at you? Well possibly but most would be sympathetic
• Would they remember you? Yes!
• Would you learn something from the experience? - I hope so.

One of my students once described a situation where she actually fainted in the middle of an important business presentation. She was certainly embarrassed at the time but afterwards, when I asked her what had happened, she said that her boss had been very sympathetic and supportive and so had the client! She still worked for the same company and had learned a lot from the experience. No next time you are fearful of a presentation, ask yourself the following questions;

1. What am I really afraid of?
2. What is the worst thing that could happen?
3. How likely is it to happen in reality?
4. Even if it did happen, would it really be the end of the world?
5. What would you like to have happen instead?
6. What would it look like, sound like and feel like if you gave a positive, confident and well prepared presentation? Hear the applause, feel the good feelings and see yourself successful.

Many reluctant presenters (and many experienced ones too!) make the simple mistake of placing all their attention on themselves as presenters. Effective communicators on the other hand do it differently…

When you are presenting to an audience, be it one person or a thousand, you must remember who the most important people are. Who are the protagonists in your story? Who is taking the action when the talking has finished? It’s the audience - assuming your presentation has a clear outcome which involves the audience doing something as a result of your presentation. (And if it doesn’t, what’s the point of making the presentation or speech in the first place!)

So if the audience are the most important people in the room, doesn’t it make sense that you should be placing at least 80% of your attention on them.

• Physically and mentally engage with them - They won’t do anything if they don’t have some sort of relationship with you.
• Make and hold eye contact with them. Not only does this raise your own projected authority, it is also an essential source of feedback as to how they are responding to your messages.
• If they are not responding in the way you would like, don’t just ignore this valuable information - do something different. Ask them a question. Get them to give you examples.
• Ask them rhetorical questions and use pauses to give them the time to consider their answers.

There is one other, perhaps more unexpected benefit of placing your attention on your audience.

Many presenters get very nervous and this technique can also help you reduce those nerves dramatically. There is an old principle that goes “Whatever you focus on, grows.” So if you are focusing internally and paying attention to your own nervousness, guess what. You tend to get more nervous.

If on the other hand you pay attention to your audience, you start to forget about your nervousness and it subsides naturally!

So good luck with your next presentations. Put this tip into action, see the difference, and if you feel like posting a comment then I’d love to hear from you.

Fear of public speaking is the number one reason why people avoid having to stand up and speak in public. The good news is that this is a natural reaction and that it can be conquered and that nervous energy turned into a resource.

I have posted elsewhere on this site about this topic but on reviewing my posts I realised that I had omitted a few tips that I still use myself and recommend to others. I am to correct this omission over the next few weeks so here’s the first installment.

Did you know that your mind and body really are part of one big system. It’s true and so we know that as well as our thoughts affecting our body, what we do with our body can powerfully effect our thoughts. Here is the first practical application of this principle which will really help you manage your nerves.

Make and old a little saliva in your mouth. - The brain associates a dry mouth with nerves and anxiety so if you deliberately make a little saliva and hold it in the bottom of your mouth it will send signals to the brain which will cause you to feel more relaxed! Try it out for yourself - it really works.

NB: I once saw a documentary on the BBC about a doctor called Manuel Escudero who was able to operate on people without anaesthetic. All he did was get his patient to produce saliva!

Last week I ran one of my open workshops in London and I had six fantastic participants and despite their professional experience and expertise, every one of them wanted to learn how to minimise their nerves. The fear of public speaking is a common and often paralysing condition.

As a departure from my usual session, I assigned them into pairs and asked them to share their worst fears relating to speaking in public.

1. What were they really afraid of ?
2. What would be the worst thing that could happen if what they feared actually came true?

Most peoples ultimate fear was that others would think less of them as a result of a poor public speaking performance. And when challenged as to what the worst outcome of this could be people struggled to find a really terrible outcome.

• Nobody would actually die or get hurt if the made a bad presentation
• They wouldn’t get the sack
• People would empathise with them

What we fear rarely comes true. in fact the more we avoid what we fear, the more we inflate that fear and the more paralysed we become. Ultimately our fear ensures that very outcome that we thing it is trying to protect us from, occurs.

Now consider what would happen if ignored the fear and you gave a good presentation:

• People would be impressed with your skills, knowledge and capabilities
• You could influence more people more quickly
• You might get positive feedback and encouragement
• It would enhance your chances of promotion

Finally, cast your mind back to your childhood and slowly review your life to the present day. What sort of things have you done that, at one time in your life you were afraid of? Haven’t you successfully faced your fears countless times and survived?

There are lots of tools and techniques for tackling fear and nerves but it’s always good start to challenge your fear and face it headlong.

As a presentation skills trainer and coach, one of the most common things I help people deal with is nerves. Most people are so afraid of speaking in public that they would do almost anything to avoid it.

In today’s post I’d like to share with you my personal top tips for conquering those nerves and training those butterflies in your stomach to “fly in formation”. These techniques really work but you do have to practice them. Just reading about them won’t do it! The good news is that these techniques are simple and easy.

Now some people do have a real phobia of public speaking and they need specialised coaching or therapy to rid themselves of this fear once and for all. I myself have used NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) techniques to remove phobias however it’s too specialised a subject to cover in this blog and requires face to face support.

So here are my favourite tips that will work for most people.

1. Three or more slow, deep breaths
2. Act as if…
3. Invite the fear in
4. See yourself successful
5. Hold a little saliva in your mouth

Tip number one is so simple and obvious that many people dismiss it without trying it. That’s a pity because it is really powerful. Just notice what happens you you when you deliberately take three slow, deep breaths, preferably in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Fill your lungs right to the bottom with each in breath. Yes your tummy will balloon out a little when you do this but nobody will notice honest. now hold that breath for a count of five then slowly exhale through your mouth until all you cannot squeeze out any more air. Your tummy
should come in towards your backbone as you do this.

This simple exercise, repeated at least three times will bring you a deep sense of relaxation and calm. This is a great one to practice as you prepare for a presentation.

Tip number two is called “Act as if..” because that’s exactly what you have to do. In the case of being confident enough to give a great presentation you need to act as if you were feeling confident. Now think about this. How would you be standing if you were feeling confident? How would you be breathing? How would you be holding your head, What sort of expression would you have on your face? If you force yourself to take on the physiology of confidence guess what will happen? That’s right the longer you hold the physiology, the more confident you will start to feel.

Tip number 3 is about inviting the fear in. Sounds counter intuitive I know but it really does work. When we call fear’s bluff it evaporates like the phantom it really is. If you think you are feeling faint then, rather than resisting it, tell yourself to faint right here right now and see what happens. The answer is absolutely nothing! The fear is a False Expectation Appearing as Real.

Tip number 4 called see yourself successful is all about visualisation or mental rehearsal. Most people who are fearful of making a speech or presentation are actually Olympic class visualisers, the only problem is that the visualise or imagine all the terrible things that could go wrong. When they do this it is obvious that they are feeding their fear and it just gets worse and worse. When you change this pattern and harness this amazing skill to imagine success instead of failure, the fear diminishes and disappears. The more you see, hear and feel yourself vividly delivering your speech confidently, fluently and with authority the better you will feel about the presentation.

And finally tip number five is another really simple one and involves you producing and holding a little saliva in your mouth. This one sounds a bit weird but it is actually closely related to tip number 2. Physiologically, the body can only produce saliva when you are not nervous. That’s why nervous people often complain of having a dry mouth. But, if you deliberately make a little saliva before your presentation and hold it in your mouth , your brain says “if I have saliva in my mouth I can’t be nervous” and it automatically increases the levels of endorphins, the natural positive mood enhancing compounds in your blood stream making you feel more confident and better able to speak confidently and fluently.

So if you suffer from pre-speech nerves thy these tips and let me know which ones work best for you.