Mar 202013
 

removing-maskOne of the most common reasons for public speaking nerves is our fear of making a mistake in front of others. Maybe we’ll dry up, or say something stupid or …  

In other words, we are scared to let others to see that we are anything less than perfect.

Interestingly, some of the best speakers I know are rarely perfect. They are human, like the rest of us.  They have the courage to show what’s behind the mask.

The big difference is they are less concerned about what other people think of them than you are. They have learned to accept their own vulnerability, and this is the secret of their success. As my friend Richard Wilkins says, “perfection isn’t connection“.  Speakers who are willing to risk showing their vulnerability understand that when we allow ourselves to make mistakes we give others permission to risk making mistakes too. If we are human, we give others permission to be human too.

Remember that:

  • The fear of doing something is always worse than actually doing it.
  • Most of what we FEAR will never actually happen

But what if I do dry up or say something silly?

Just repeat after me these two magic words!   “So what!”

Is it really the end of the world?  Have you ever heard of somebody getting killed for forgetting what they were going to say?  It’s amazing the effect a little reality check can make.

So I challenge you to accept your humanity and all that it brings. True courage is accepting ourselves, warts and all and still speaking our truth without fear.  Accept this truth and your public speaking nerves will wither, and confidence will blossom within you in its place.

Aug 132012
 

[audio src=http://www.inter-activ.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Presentation-lessons-from-the-olympics.mp3]

The dust has settled on the London 2012 Olympics and the UK can get back to normal but are there any lessons for presenters from the 2012 Games?

I could be negative and have a go at the professional BBC commentators who managed to entertain us with a vast selection of bloopers, contrived alliterations, uhms and errs and general gibberish but to be fair, if most of us were in their shoes, presenting live for several hours a day,  we’d probably mess up sometimes too.    Instead I’d like to draw some lessons for presenters from the athletes themselves and their truly stellar performances.

 

Lesson 1: Great presentations are the result of relentless practice.

Every medal winner in those games put in the practice hours necessary.  To get to the top of any field you need to practice and keep practising .  There is no shortcut!      However if you keep practising the same faults you may take a long time to improve.   That’s where great coaching and feedback combine with practice to accelerate positive change in performance.

 

Lesson 2) Great presentations require unshakeable self belief

Usain Bolt, Mo Farah, David Rudisha, and all the other Gold Medallists at London 2012 didn’t doubt that it was possible for themselves  to win!   You could see the certainty in their faces.  This is a valuable lesson for all presenters or budding presenters.   You have to develop and unshakable self belief. you can find more posts on presentation confidence here.

 

Lesson 3) Managing your “nerves” is a critical success factor

Imagine the pressure that most of these Olympic medallists were under in the run up to their events. The roar of the crowd, the expectations of their coaches, families and Nations.  It’s enough to make the best prepared athlete go to pieces.  But the Olympic Champions didn’t.    Somehow they were able to find a place of calm inside themselves and to harness that nervous energy, turning it onto an extra power source.   Presenters must learn the same lesson.   You can find more tips on managing your presentation nerves here.

This is by no means an exhaustive list.   What are your favourite lessons for presenters that came from the London 2012 Olympic Games?  Please post your suggestions below!

Jul 052012
 

people looking at youRecently I have had a number of presentation coaching clients who have avoided making presentations because they suffered from an acute fear of being looked  or judged.

The technical name for the fear of people looking at you is Scopophobia and can be a very debilitating.  Whilst some cases need specialist 1:1 therapy, many people find that simple techniques like the one I will share in this post can make a big difference.

First you have to understand what causes your “scopophobia ”

Phobias are the result of exaggerated thought process, often triggered by an early negative experience.  These patterns get “locked in” causing an emotional chain reaction.   One thought triggers another, and that thoughts triggers the next until those thoughts become extremely exaggerated, causing phobias and anxieties.

I’m going to share one sufferer’s thought process, just so you understand the sort of thing that used to go on in her mind when a phobic reaction is created and what she did to resolve it.

Here’s a typical example of thinking that can trigger anxiety about people looking at you:
As I’m about to give a presentation , I feel like when I’m about to get in a huge, scary roller coaster. I’m aware of the people looking at me and how people react to every action I make. As soon as I make a mistake no matter how small the mistake is or was, my mind will exaggerate it and that’s when the chain reaction of thoughts begins.

“As the negative thoughts are triggered, now I’m more aware of my surroundings and ultra aware of everything I do. How I am standing, how fast my heart is beating, the tremor in my hands and the churning in my stomach. These thoughts trigger other physical reactions and ramp up my anxiety.”

Soon my mind is flooded with dozens of thoughts and explanations that make me lose concentration. My concentration levels become so low that a lot of times is almost and impossible to speak without hesitation or going blank.”

“If this goes on it will become hard for me to pay attention or to think straight. it will also trigger other physical and mental reactions like, severe nervousness, the need to escape the situation, shaking, blushing, and numbness of my body. The chain reaction of thoughts repeats itself, until I’m out of the presentation.”.

In this case what triggers the scopophobia are the exaggerated thoughts of people looking at her and thinking negatively about her and her apparent awkwardness when in reality most of the time they don’t even notice it.

One solution for scopophobia:
To eliminate the fear of people looking at you, you have to  either change your thought processes or eliminate what triggers those thoughts. The lady in the above example chose to eliminate the triggers.

To stop looking awkward she created a second personality, a personality that she assumed when she had to give a presentation.

For example she described to me how she chose a role model (a TV character in her case) who, she believed, had the confidence and social skills that she aspired to.

When she wanted to appear confident in a presentation, or other situation where she felt people were looking at her, she would imagine what her “role model” would do if they were in her place. How would they stand, move, speak, and react?

By copying how that person behaved  (but not what they would say) she was able to project more confidence than she initially felt and as a result her anxiety started to subside automatically.

This is just one of a number of techniques that can be applied when your fear of people looking at you is stopping you get your message across and perhaps holding you back from a new job or promotion.

If you have found your own solution to the problem of scopophobia please share it with us by leaving a comment below.

If you found this technique helpful please use the social buttons to share it with your friends you never know who else has the same problem around people looking at you.

 

Jun 212011
 

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It’s natural to be a little nervous when you start speaking but your nervous gestures can give the game away to your audience .   Here are  the most common and most distracting ones along with preventative  tips on how to reduce or eliminate them.

1 ) The soft shoe shuffler

Dancing, rocking and pacing as you speak can all be very distracting for your audience. Awareness is the starting point so get some feedback on your stance and movement. If it needs work try the following tips. Start with a strong confident stance with your feet hip width apart, toes pointing slightly out, head up and shoulders back. When you move, move with purpose rather than randomly.

2 ) The pen clicker

Ever been driven mad by the presenter who continuously clicks the top of a ballpoint pen or who “pops” the top of a flipchart marker on and off?
It’s just a little thing but it can be so000 distracting.   Again with this nervous gesture awareness is the first step.  It can be easily prevented by reminding yourself not to hold a pen in your hand.   If you have to write on a flip chart,  consciously practice putting the pen down when you have finished writing.

3 ) The sloucher

Over the years I have come across some pretty bizzare postures from inexperienced speakers.   Some people perch on one leg with their other crossed in front of them and look like they are about to fall over at any moment.  But the worst is the hands in pockets, leaning back on one leg slouching stance.  It immediately makes me think that the presenter doesn’t care about their subject. And if they don’t care, why should I.   Always start your presentation with a confident well balanced, open stance.   Before you speak go through a quick mental checklist.  Feet hip width apart, weight evenly distributed between both feet, feet flat on the floor, soft knees, shoulders back, head up and arms relaxed by your sides.  You don’t have to stay in this posture throughout your presentation but it is a great place to start and to come back to if you need to pause and think.

4 ) The pacer

I always remember an army careers speaker who came to my school when I was about 16.   Throughout his 45 minute presentation he paced back and forwards in front of us as if he was marching up and down the parade ground.   This pacing served no useful purpose and was extremely distracting.     Always aim to make your movement purposeful.  For example use different areas of the floor to “anchor” different parts of your speech or move closer to your audience when you want to ask a particular person a question.

5 ) The coin or key jingler

Usually a male trait, the habit of putting a hand in trouser pocket and playing with keys or loose change is a big no no.  Always check your pockets before speaking and remove any loose change or anything else that might  distract your audience.

6 ) The face toucher

Random touching of your face or playing with your hair is an all to common tell tale that the presenter is nervous of feeling uncomfortable.  It reduces your credibility massively and should be avoided at all costs, especially if speaking to a more senior audience.

7 ) The hand clasper

Many novice presenters struggle to know what to do with their hands. Typically they will either clasp their hands in front of their stomach or grasp them behind their back in the posture made famous by Prince Charles.  Both these options tend to reduce your credibility and also restrict your ability to gesture effectively   Ideally I recommend that, when not gesturing, your arms should hang loosely by your sides.   If this is a step too far for you then an acceptable alternative is to lightly rest your finger tips together but don’t interlace the fingers.

So there you have it.  My list of the 7 most distracting nervous gestures.   Which are you guilty of?
If you don’t know get some feedback. Getting someone to video your presentations can be really useful and this is getting easier and easier as so many mobile phones can now record reasonable quality video.

Have I left any out that drive you mad?     Share your comments and views below.

Gavin Meikle
The Presentation Doctor

May 212011
 

The most asked question I get is “how can I overcome my fear of public speaking”. In this post I want to share my top tips for managing your anxiety and encourage you to add yours.

1) Breathe!
I know this one sounds like a no brainer, but when we are nervous, our breathing gets shallow and rapid and we deprive ourselves of vital oxygen. Deliberately talking two or three slow deep breaths is a great way to relax. With each in breath imagine breathing in pure, cleansing light. With each out breath, imagine breathing out any negativity, self doubt and tension.

2) Consciously visualise success:
When we are nervous or anxious our minds have a tendency to dwell on past failures or imagine how things could go wrong in the future. In effect we mentally rehearse failure. This isn’t an effective strategy for preparing ourselves to give a great speech.

Excellent presenters do the opposite. They deliberately either remember past times when they have been on top of their game or they imagine their forthcoming presentation going well. The more they can imagine seeing, hearing and feeling success in their minds eye, the more effective a speaker they tend to be in reality

3) Stand as if you feel confident:
The previous tip focused on taking control of our thinking. This one focuses on our physiology. If you want to feel confident project that confidence to others you have to “act as if” you were confident.

Standing upright with your feet hip width apart and your toes pointed very slightly out creates a posture where your head is naturally up and your shoulders are relaxed and back. If you deliberately adopt this type of posture even though you are feeling nervous inside, your audience will believe you to be confident and you will start to feel more confident yourself.

4) Focus on your audience:
This one may sound a little counter intuitive but trust me, it really works. Aim to make and hold good eye contact with your audience.  Not only will this make them feel more engaged but it will also provide you with valuable feedback on how well your presentation strategy is working. Since your brain can only really focus on one thing at a time, concentrating on our audience will stop you focusing on your nerves and your anxiety will automatically diminish.

5) Remember a past success:
When first asked to give a presentation or speech you may doubt your own abilities or that you have anything worthwhile to say. In order to get yourself into a better “state” take a few minutes to go back through your memories and recall times in your life where you have been successful and confident. The more vividly you can make these recollections the more confident you will feel.

It may have been last week or a few years ago. It may have been at work or on holiday or playing sport. Just allow a memory pop up and then go back into it and remember how it felt to be successfully and confident. What were you doing. What sounds were you hearing then? Who was with you? What were you saying to yourself. By accessing a memory of a positive achievement from your past you can bring those resources back to you right now in the present.

6) Prepare:
There is an old saying that goes “failing to plan is planning to fail”. The more important your presentation is the more sensible it is to plan well in advance. Don’t try and do it all in one go, and don’t try and do it all at the last minute. If you feel nervous about our presentations you may find yourself procrastinating over the preparation and this is a sure fire way to increase your stress levels,

Make the time to do it a little bit at a time. Plan in 30minutes a day for a couple of weeks to develop your content and structure and then to write and rehearse it. If you don’t put it in your diary it will never happen so a little bit of self discipline is needed.

7) Rehearse rehearse, rehearse:
Writing a speech and delivering it are two very different things.   Allow some time to read your speech out loud.

I tend to print my first draft then pace around my office, reading it out loud to an imaginary audience. Inevitably I will change the wording during this process as I notice that some phrases just don’t flow naturally or sound right when I spoken.

Once I have the script nailed down I will then practice giving the speech without referring to my script. I am not trying to memorise it word for word, but I am trying to groove in the flow of ideas and key messages so that I can focus on my audience rather than on my notes. The more I rehearse, the more confident I become.

8) Step “into” a role model:
If you are an inexperienced or nervous speaker you may like to try this tactic on for size. Start by thinking about someone whom you believe to be a confident and effective presenter.

They could be a teacher, colleague, parent, friend or even a movie star.
Now imagine that you could step into their body and “be them” as they give the speech you have prepared. Look out at the audience through their eyes, feeling the confidence that say seem to naturally posses. Hear yourself delivering your words as confidently and as fluently as they would.

9) Join your local Toastmasters club:
There is no substitute for practice but finding a safe and supportive place to do this can be a real challenge. That’s where Toastmasters clubs come in.

Despite the name, Toastmasters International is nothing to do with red coats and weddings. It is a worldwide network of public speaking clubs providing a safe place to practice and gain feedback. I am a member of Solent Speakers based in in the UK and Despite being an experienced speaker, I learn something new every time I go.

Google “Toastmasters clubs” in your local area and visit. In my experience you’ll be hard pressed to find a friendlier and more supportive learning environment anywhere on the planet.

So what do you think? – what techniques have you found to help you or your colleagues. Share your comments with the thousands of people who read this blog and help them learn from your experiences.

Feb 072011
 

How can I overcome my fear of public speaking”.

In this post I want to share my top tips for managing your anxiety and encourage you to add yours

1) Breathe!
I know this one sounds obvious but when we are nervous, our breathing gets shallow and rapid and we deprive ourselves of vital oxygen. Deliberately talking two or three slow deep breathes is a great way to relax. With each in breath imaging breathing in pure White, cleansing light. With each out breath, imaging breathing out any negativity, self doubt and tension.

2) Consciously visualize success:
When we are nervous or anxious our brains have a tendency to recall past examples of failure or to imagine how things could go wrong in the future. This isn’t a great strategy for preparing ourselves to give a great speech. Excellent presenters do the opposite.

They deliberately direct their thinking and either remember past times when they have been on top of their game or they imagine their forthcoming presentation going well. The more they can imagine seeing, hearing and feeling success in their minds eye, the more effective a speaker they become in reality.

3) Stand as if you feel confident
The last tip focuses on taking control of our thinking. This one focuses on our physiology. If you want to feel confident and to project that confidence to others you have to “act as if” you were confident.

Standing upright with your feet hip width apart and your toes pointed very slightly out creates a posture where your head is naturally up and your shoulders area roasts and back. If you deliberately adopt this type of posture even though you are feeling nervous inside, your audience will believe you to be confident and you will start to feel more confident yourself.

4) Focus on your audience:
This one may sound a little counter intuitive but trust me, it really works. Aim to make and hold good eye contact with your audience. Not only will this make them feel more engaged but it will also provide you with valuable feedback on how well your presentation strategy is working. Since your brain can only really focus on one thing at a time, if you focus on our audience you are not automatically not focusing on fear of public speaking.

5) Remember a past success
When first asked to give a presentation or speech you may doubt either your own abilities or that you have anything worthwhile to say. In order to get yourself into a better “state” take a few minutes to go back through your memories and recall times in your life where you have been successful and confident.

It may have been last week or a few years ago. It may have been at work or on holiday or playing sport. Just allow a memory pop up and then go back into it and remember how it felt to be successful and confident. What were you doing?   What sounds were you hearing then? Who was with you? What were you saying to yourself?

By deliberately accessing a memory of a positive achievement from your past you can bring those resources back to you right now in the present.

6) Prepare
There is an old saying that says “failing to plan is planning to fail”. The more important your presentation the more sensible it is to plan well in advance. Don’t try and do it all in one go, and don’t try and do it all at the last minute. If you feel nervous about our presentations we may find yourself procrastinating over the preparation and this is a sure fire way to increase your stress levels and increase your fear of public speaking.

Make the time to do it a little bit at a time. Plan in 30mins a day for a couple of weeks to develop your content and structure and then to write and rehearse it. If you don’t put it in your diary it will never happen so a little bit itself discipline is needed.

7) Rehearse rehearse, rehearse
Writing a speech and delivering it are two very different things. Allow some time to read your speech out loud. I tend to print off my first draft then pace around my office, reading it out loud to an imaginary audience. Inevitably I will change the wording during this process as I notice that some phrases just don’t work or flow naturally when I am speaking.

Once I have the script nailed down I will then practice giving the speech without referring to my script. I am not trying to memorise it word for word, but I am trying to groove in the flow of ideas and key messages so that I can focus on my audience rather than on my notes. The more I rehearse, the more confident I become.

8) Step “into” a role model
If you are an inexperienced or nervous speaker you may like to try this tactic on for size.   Start by thinking about someone whom you believe to be a confident and effective presenter.  They could be a teacher, colleague, parent, friend or even a movie star.

Now imagine that you could step into their body and “be them” as they give the speech you have prepared. Look out at the audience through their eyes, feeling the confidence that say seem to naturally posses. Hear yourself delivering your words as confidently and as fluently as they would.  Notice how yur fear of public speaking dissolves as you imagine being them.

9) Join your local Toastmasters club.
There is no substitute for practice but finding a safe and uplifting place to do this can be a real challenges. That’s where Toastmasters clubs come in.

Despite the name Toastmasters international is nothing to do with red coats and weddings. It is a worldwide network of public speaking clubs providing a safe place to practice and gain feedback. I am a member of Solent speakers based in Fareham and I learn something new every time I go.

Google “Toastmasters clubs” in your local area and visit. In my experience you’ll be hard pressed to find a friendlier oand more supportive learning environment anywhere on the planet.

So what do you think? – what techniques have you found to help you or your colleagues  overcome the fear of public speaking?    Post your comments below.

Gavin Meikle

The Presentation Doctor, helping you beat the fear of public speaking

Nov 242008
 

How often have you been irritated by a speakers random movements and mannerisms.   Typical ones that annoy me include rocking back and forward, restless pacing, clicking the button of a ball point pen, or playing with hair.

I used to have a bad habit of tugging at my shirt sleeves and also rubbing my nose (thankfully not at the same time!)   then one day, on a presentation skills course led by a fantastic guy called David Strachan, I found s simple but elegant solution.

David explained how these irritating and extraneous movements were caused by excess nerous energy “leaking out”  and resulted in a loss of energy from my overall presentation.   The secret, he said, is to imagine sucking up that energy back into your core and then directing it out deliberately into more purposeful channels of communication such as your expression, voice and gestures.

I recommend you try this one whenever you catch yourself “leaking” energy. It worked a treat for me and I’m sure it will for you too.

Dec 052007
 

purple elephantI’ve been training presentation and public speaking skills for more than ten years now and today I’d like to share one thing I learned which has had the biggest single impact on the results I get.   If you are curious to know what it it, then read on.

I still remember the first bit of feedback I got when I stood up to give a talk.   The giver, no doubt intending to be helpful told me that I had said “um” 42 times in my three minute talk.   It’s all too easy to be critical but the question is, does giving critical feedback work?  Does it have the desired effect of improving performance and changing behaviour?   I’ve been a manager and a trainer for more than 20 years and I have learned the hard way that most critical feedback, no matter how well meant, has the opposite effect.  

Why should this be?   Well I’d like you first to follow the instructions in the following statement.

What ever you do, – Do not think of a purple elephant!   Under no circumstances should you think of a purple elephant!

So what happened?  Of course you couldn’t do anything else but imagine a purple pachyderm.   It’s the way or mind works, we cannot not think of something.   Our attention inevitably goes to the thing that is unwanted or forbidden.  

Now imagine you say to someone, “don’t keep saying um.  You have a habit of saying it at the end of every sentence and you must stop saying um if you are to improve.”   Immediately your attention is drawn to the very thing that you don’t want to do as an a result you do more of it!      “Energy flows where attention goes”

Now imagine i said to you this instead. “I want you to concentrate on saying nothing at the end of every sentence.  Put a pause in, as you think of the next thing you are going to say.”   Now notice what you focus on.

But there is more to it than this.   Critical feedback hurts! 

When I started teaching presentation skills I used to give lots of “constructive” feedback which inevitably meant pointing out things that people were doing wrong.    No matter how sensitively I gave this feedback, I could see the pain in the eyes of my students and despite their accepting nods, Is till saw the same unwanted behaviours repeated time after time.

 And then I went to America for an NLP trainers workshop. During those long hard three weeks we would all be expected to give lots of presentations but a the beginning of the course, Robert Dilts our tutor introduced the concept of “Positive Feedback Only”  He challenged us to focus on commenting solely on what we liked about the presenters delivery, structure or visual aids and other than that to phrase or suggestions for improvement in terms of  “what presenter could do more of that would make his talk even better”.

Initially we were all sceptical about this approach but we quickly discovered that it has a hauge impact on the presenter and people improved far faster than using traditional critical feedback techniques.  

When I got back from the States I incorporated this approach into my own one day workshops and the impact was huge!   The degree of improvement I started seeing over a day was at least 25% greater than previously.   So if you need some help with your presenting here are some suggestions to help you get the most change in the shortest possible time;

  • Tell your audiences to keep any negative feedback to themselves but that you will be delighted to receive any amount of positive feedback.  My good friend Richard Wilkins does this at the start of every talk and it works a treat as well as getting a good laugh and lots of nods of agreement.
  • Encourage others to confine their feedback to two areas – What specifically did I do that you liked or that worked?  What could I do more of that would make it even better.
  • If you are looking for a trainer or coach, ask them how they give  feedback.  If the tell you that they will spend any more than 5% of the time telling you what you are doing wrong – walk away!  
Nov 222007
 

                                                               

A couple of night’s ago I attended my local Toastmasters club and one of the guest’s comments got me thinking….When people come to the club for the first time most are nervous and not a little afraid.

Standing up and speaking in front of a group of strangers can certainly be scary, at least in our own imagination. So where does that fear come from and what are we afraid of?

  • Fear of making a fool of ourselves
  • Fear of being judged and found lacking by our peers
  • Fear of forgetting what you are going to say (and therefore looking foolish…)
  • I wonder what is the worst thing you could possibly imagine happening to you in a presentation? Now imagine that you worst nightmare came true! What would be the real impact?

    • Would you die? – Not really!
    • You would get the sack? – Unlikely
    • Would people laugh at you? Well possibly but most would be sympathetic
    • Would they remember you? Yes!
    • Would you learn something from the experience? – I hope so.

    One of my students once described a situation where she actually fainted in the middle of an important business presentation. She was certainly embarrassed at the time but afterwards, when I asked her what had happened, she said that her boss had been very sympathetic and supportive and so had the client! She still worked for the same company and had learned a lot from the experience. No next time you are fearful of a presentation, ask yourself the following questions;

    1. What am I really afraid of?
    2. What is the worst thing that could happen?
    3. How likely is it to happen in reality?
    4. Even if it did happen, would it really be the end of the world?
    5. What would you like to have happen instead?
    6. What would it look like, sound like and feel like if you gave a positive, confident and well prepared presentation? Hear the applause, feel the good feelings and see yourself successful.
    Oct 142007
     

    Many reluctant presenters (and many experienced ones too!) make the simple mistake of placing all their attention on themselves as presenters. Effective communicators on the other hand do it differently…

    When you are presenting to an audience, be it one person or a thousand, you must remember who the most important people are. Who are the protagonists in your story? Who is taking the action when the talking has finished? It’s the audience – assuming your presentation has a clear outcome which involves the audience doing something as a result of your presentation. (And if it doesn’t, what’s the point of making the presentation or speech in the first place!)

    So if the audience are the most important people in the room, doesn’t it make sense that you should be placing at least 80% of your attention on them.

    • Physically and mentally engage with them – They won’t do anything if they don’t have some sort of relationship with you.
    • Make and hold eye contact with them. Not only does this raise your own projected authority, it is also an essential source of feedback as to how they are responding to your messages.
    • If they are not responding in the way you would like, don’t just ignore this valuable information – do something different. Ask them a question. Get them to give you examples.
    • Ask them rhetorical questions and use pauses to give them the time to consider their answers.

    There is one other, perhaps more unexpected benefit of placing your attention on your audience.

    Many presenters get very nervous and this technique can also help you reduce those nerves dramatically. There is an old principle that goes “Whatever you focus on, grows.” So if you are focusing internally and paying attention to your own nervousness, guess what. You tend to get more nervous.

    If on the other hand you pay attention to your audience, you start to forget about your nervousness and it subsides naturally!

    So good luck with your next presentations. Put this tip into action, see the difference, and if you feel like posting a comment then I’d love to hear from you.