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Do you ever have the same problem I have?   I bet you do.   There you are sitting in front of your computer  with  blank powerpoint  or word template in front of you , a deadline looming and your mind is blank!

Unlocking our creativity and escaping the bind of writers block can be easier than you think - well that has been my experience anyway.    In this post I’d like to share a  technique I use to get the creative juices flowing again.

Change your location

It never ceases to amaze me how important my physical environment can be so whenever I get stuck I change my location and see what happens.   In the summer I go sit in the park.  In the winter I prefer a warm coffee shop, for obvious reasons!   Both seem to work well.    Nature is very stimulating and just noticing the trees, birds, clouds and people passing by is guaranteed to stimulate those neurones.

Likewise I find close proximity to other people works well too.   This surprised me initially because I thought it would have the opposite effect.    I suppose I got the idea from reading about how JK Rowling wrote the Harry Potter Novels in her local coffee shop.   Somehow the clatter and the chatter kick-start my brain and I am amazed at how much more creative I can be.

So I’m curious as to where the best place for you would be.   If you haven’t tried changing your space then I highly recommend you do.   And remember to share your own experiences with me and the other readers of this blog by posting a comment below.

This video clip serves four purposes for students of presentation and public speaking skills:

1. It demonstrates the value of a clearly structured message
2. It shows how things like eye contact, body language and vocal variety engage the audience
3. It shows how simple visual aids with well chosen images add to the presentation
4. It contains a valuable message that we all should learn and take heed of.

Enjoy

This post was promopted by a comment made by my wife Lyn after an early morning walk today.

It was a beautiful morning here in the South of Hampshire. The sky was just starting to colour up as the sun rose and the air was crisp and fresh. After a few minutes of silent contemplation we started to chat about anything and everything. In particular we gravitated towards talking about what it is that allows people to have the confidence to do amazing things such as present with confidence and conviction.

Self belief kept coming up in our conversation and then Lyn asked “How can we have more belief?”

My first answer surprised me when I said, “Maybe it’s not so much about doing something to havemore belief, but rather its about stopping doing things that erode our self beleif.”

As an example, a colleague I met at a networking event recently said, “the problem with me is that I don’t have sparkle” and so my talks are dull. This sounded to me like a limiting belief and when I asked them how they knew they didn’t have “sparkle” they replied “Somebody told me once, after a talk.”

So, based on the opinion of one person commenting on once example, they had generalised that comment to encompass every possible speaking situation across their whole life. How crazy is that?

Thankfully a few minutes after my response to their answer they suddenly said, “Well actually, I’ve just remembered that the speech I gave when I got married was really good and I got lots of praise for it afterwards.” When I asked them ” Did you sparkle on that occasion?” They said “Yes!” and I could see from the light in their eyes and the change in their expression that they had realised something very valuable.

So next time you put yourself down about your speaking abilities (or anything else for that matter!) remember my friend and his sparkle story. Do a reality check and see if you are really as bad as you think you are? Have you ever had good feedback? Have you ever been pleased with your own performance?

If you want to nurture your confidence one key step is to stop dwelling on your failures and putting yourself down.

Today I had the privilege of meeting up with my great friends and inspirational speakers Richard & Liz.     We talked about all sorts of things to do with success, self development and happiness and as ever, I left with a whole load of exciting new ideas and insights.

I could write several posts on the outcomes of this meeting but I just want to share one with you today.    We were talking about the ability of effective communicators to engage and connect with their audience.   Richard has an uncanny knack of coming up with a pithy, simple statement that is just bursting with meaning.  

Richard made the statement that “perfection isn’t the same as connection” and this got me thinking.   

Many presenters and speakers waste their time trying to create the “perfect” presentation and forget that the key to effective communication is connection not perfection.  In fact perfection tends to get in the way of connection.

Liz demonstrated this with a little story about a story that she heard on a personal; development CD recently.  The “guru” was telling the story of how a lady delegate had come up to him at the end of the break and asked “How can you possibly be happy all the time,”  Surely you must get just a little depressed sometime?”   To which the guru answered “no, I never get down any more.”   The immediate effect of this apparently perfect answer was to create a barrier between the lady and the speaker.   How could she possibly connect with someone who was so perfect!   

No I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet anyone who is really that perfect.  We all have our down times but that doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us human.   If we are going to connect with other human beings we need to be able to be authentic and honest.

One of the best ways of achieving connection is to share some of your own “story” with your audience.   And I don’t mean just the good stuff  either.   Let’s be real and by sharing our imperfections  connect with the rest of the human race who have imperfections too.

In a slight digression from my normal posts, I’d like to share some thoughts about limiting beleifs and how they hold us back from realising our true potential, be that as a presenter, influencer, parent  etc.   I hope you enjoy this short (5min) audio podcast.

Just make sure your speakers are turned on and click on the little arrow below.

Happy New  to you all.  
I was wondering if any of you had applied the principle of setting New Years Resolutions to your Presentation and Public Speaking skills yet.    Here are some suggestions that might get you thinking…

I resolve to learn how to use PowerPoint effectively so that I don’t bore the pants of my audiences as much as I did in 2007!

• I resolve to “feel the fear and do it anyway” the next time I see an opportunity to present or speak in public because I finally realise the benefits that overcoming my fears can bring.

I resolve to seek help to overcome my presentation skills nerves.

• I resolve to think about my audience first when preparing my presentations.  I will consider who they are, what their attitude to my topic is and how I can make by content relevant to them in the first 30 seconds of my presentation.
• I resolve to always establish a clear outcome for my presentation or speech BEFORE I start to write it! Never again will I give a presentation that leaves the audience saying “What was that all about?”
• I resolve to give my presentations a clear structure with an attention grabbing beginning, a logical and emotional middle and a strong conclusion with a clear call to action.

I’m sure you can think of many others. Please let me know what your suggestions are and I’ll publish them on this blog!

Gavin

I’ve been training presentation and public speaking skills for more than ten years now and today I’d like to share one thing I learned which has had the biggest single impact on the results I get.   If you are curious to know what it it, then read on.

I still remember the first bit of feedback I got when I stood up to give a talk.   The giver, no doubt intending to be helpful told me that I had said “um” 42 times in my three minute talk.   It’s all too easy to be critical but the question is, does giving critical feedback work?  Does it have the desired effect of improving performance and changing behaviour?   I’ve been a manager and a trainer for more than 20 years and I have learned the hard way that most critical feedback, no matter how well meant, has the opposite effect.  

Why should this be?   Well I’d like you first to follow the instructions in the following statement.

What ever you do, - Do not think of a purple elephant!   Under no circumstances should you think of a purple elephant!

So what happened?  Of course you couldn’t do anything else but imagine a purple pachyderm.   It’s the way or mind works, we cannot not think of something.   Our attention inevitably goes to the thing that is unwanted or forbidden.  

Now imagine you say to someone, “don’t keep saying um.  You have a habit of saying it at the end of every sentence and you must stop saying um if you are to improve.”   Immediately your attention is drawn to the very thing that you don’t want to do as an a result you do more of it!      “Energy flows where attention goes”

Now imagine i said to you this instead. “I want you to concentrate on saying nothing at the end of every sentence.  Put a pause in, as you think of the next thing you are going to say.”   Now notice what you focus on.

But there is more to it than this.   Critical feedback hurts! 

When I started teaching presentation skills I used to give lots of “constructive” feedback which inevitably meant pointing out things that people were doing wrong.    No matter how sensitively I gave this feedback, I could see the pain in the eyes of my students and despite their accepting nods, Is till saw the same unwanted behaviours repeated time after time.

 And then I went to America for an NLP trainers workshop. During those long hard three weeks we would all be expected to give lots of presentations but a the beginning of the course, Robert Dilts our tutor introduced the concept of “Positive Feedback Only”  He challenged us to focus on commenting solely on what we liked about the presenters delivery, structure or visual aids and other than that to phrase or suggestions for improvement in terms of  “what presenter could do more of that would make his talk even better”.

Initially we were all sceptical about this approach but we quickly discovered that it has a hauge impact on the presenter and people improved far faster than using traditional critical feedback techniques.  

When I got back from the States I incorporated this approach into my own one day workshops and the impact was huge!   The degree of improvement I started seeing over a day was at least 25% greater than previously.   So if you need some help with your presenting here are some suggestions to help you get the most change in the shortest possible time;

• Tell your audiences to keep any negative feedback to themselves but that you will be delighted to receive any amount of positive feedback.  My good friend Richard Wilkins does this at the start of every talk and it works a treat as well as getting a good laugh and lots of nods of agreement.
• Encourage others to confine their feedback to two areas - What specifically did I do that you liked or that worked?  What could I do more of that would make it even better.
• If you are looking for a trainer or coach, ask them how they give  feedback.  If the tell you that they will spend any more than 5% of the time telling you what you are doing wrong - walk away!  

OK, so what have mindfulness got to do with a blog about becoming a better, more confident presenter.   Keep on reading and you will find out…

 On Friday  a comment by my Qi Gong teacher Nilima made be think about how what I was learning in class about developing my awareness was actually even more important in my daily life than in the artificial world of a lesson.  And, since much of what I do is around communicating and speaking I began to think about how that was in turn relevant to becoming a more proficient public speaker.

In order to improve, we first must notice our habits.  Only then can we start to work on eliminating or correcting them.  Ignorance may be bliss but it does keep us stuck.    Of course, for many of us becoming mindful of  a behaviour that holds us back is yet another excuse to beat ourselves up.   That’s why acceptance is so important.   Accepting that we have a habit, without being self critical, opens up the door to personal transformation.

So how can we develop this awareness?   Well it’s simple but not easy, if that makes sense.   We just need to slow down, turn our awareness inwards a little and notice the little things we are doing.   For example, how often do we fail to lreally listen to the sound of our own voice as we speak.    Here’s a little exercise to help you practice this.

Take yourself to a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.  Somewhere you can speak out loud without feeling embarrassed.    Now, cup your hands behind your ears and start to speak out loud.   Listen to the sound of your own voice as you move your hands backwards and forwards.   As your hands cup in closer to your head you should start to notice the sound of your voice becoming louder.   Now speak a few sentences listening to each word as you say it.   If you have a tendency to insert uhm’s or errs or filler words, use this practice session to slow down and “edit out” these irritating little phrases before you speak them.

This is just one small example of how you can develop your own awareness and use it to make small subtle changes to improve your behaviour.      I used to have a very bad habit of rubbing and touch my nose as I was speaking.   For many years I was totally unconscious of it whilst all my audiences were all too aware of it.   When a good friend finally gave me feedback on it and I got over the initial embarrassment, I was able to become mindful of  what I was doing with my hands and slowly eliminate this bad habit.#

Oh and by the way, If you are interested in finding more about Qui Gong, why not check out Nilima’s beautiful website.

Recently I’ve been researching the whole area of online marketing and one theme has come out from all the experts and Guru’s I’ve been reading. 

It’s a theme that  believe all offline marketers and presenters also need to be reminded of regularly.  The most effective online marketing sites succeed because they  create a relationship between the producer and the client.     What’s more, they tailor their message to a particular niche or client profile.  They don’t try to be all things to all people.

Why?  Because most people don’t like to buy from strangers.  They need to feel that they know, like and trust you before they will be prepared to part with their hard earned cash.

The best presenters I know have a mindset that is all about building relationships with their audience.  

• They have a clear picture of the profile of the audience they are presenting to. 
   
• They work hard to  understand their fears, concerns and problems so that they can relate their content directly to the needs and wants of their audience.

And how do they build those relationships?

Well first and foremost they are honest and authentic.   Sometimes the people who come to me for help think that they need to become someone else in order to be a good presenter.  They think they need to take on a new “persona” in order to be successful.    Whilst I can understand where they are coming from, experience has taught me that quite the opposite is true.

When you can be yourself in front of an audience, then you will connect much more effectively.  Most people can smell insincerity a mile off.      I once was on a course and one of my fellow delegates gave a technically perfect presentation but afterwards everyone commented on how it didn’t seem “real”.      We could sense that we were seeing an act rather than the truth.    

My challenge to you is, next time you present, set the intention to “be yourself and to really connect with your audience.”  I know that if you do it, you will enjoy the experience much more and so will your audience.
 

For some time now I’ve been subscribed to Internet marketing guru Perry Marshall’s Ezine but like many of us I don’t always read them - I get so many of these things that I can’t read everything - Right!

Well for some reason, I decided to open Perry’s most recent email expecting another lesson on how to use Pay per Click Advertising or some other such Internet marketing tool. Instead I read a little piece that touched me to the core. I liked it so much that I felt I should share it with you.

“Gavin,
Recently, I consulted with a student who had invested heavily in a business which was now making money but involved dealing with seedy individuals.
He was very conflicted about this. He’d put quite a bit into this venture. It was profitable, thus doubly hard to walk away from. But he didn’t feel good about what he was selling or who his customers were. His head and his gut were duking it out.
I don’t like just coming out and telling people what to do in situations like this. Here’s what I did say to him…One of the most valuable skills I’ve honed is the ability to listen to my gut.
I learned this the hard way. There was an investor in the company I worked for who I personally liked but every time he’d call I’d feel a subtle, almost imperceptible wave of fear. Only much later did I realize his mission was to slice my fingers off one bloody joint at a time.
My head didn’t know it, but my gut did.
Ignoring my gut was a costly mistake.

It’s not easy at first to discern the conflicting voices inside. But little by little you begin to see through the haze and hear that inner voice more clearly.

I told my student that if he ignored his gut today it would be harder to detect its voice at all tomorrow.Never disconnect your most reliable instruments.
I think he’ll do the right thing. And in the process he will teach his Inner CFO a lesson: We’re in charge of the money here, boys. The money is not in charge of us.