Last night I attended a meeting of a new public speaking club called Hamwic Speakers- Southampton.  Hamwic have only been going since March but are doing extremely well.   At last nights meeting I was entranced by a wonderful speech by a young man called Rich Watts, who talked about “A trip to grandma’s“.

On the face of it, not the most exciting of topics but Rich delivered a most entertaining and excellent speech in which, by describing in vivid detail, what it was like to visit his grandmothers, from the perspective of his five year old self, he evoked powerful memories and emotions in all of us.

I was particularly impressed with the way Rich matched his energy and pace of delivery to the story he was telling.  At the start his pace was slow and measured as he described the rather boring car journey where he was too small to see much out of the car window but clouds.  Then, when he arrived at his gran’s the pace picked up dramatically as he described zooming into her house (an Aladdin’s cave for a five year old boy!) with his arms outstretched behind him pretending to be a plane.

The pace stayed high as he described how he explored and played and then slowed a little as he started to describe the other family members present.   The pace slowed further as he brought us up to the present day and how things had changed.  How his granny wasn’t as energetic as she had been, how the food wasn’t as home cooked as it had been and so on.   This “gear change”change of pace brought a poignancy and a sense of reflection to this speech that worked beautifully and lead us up nicely to Rich’s take away message.

Rich finished with two key messages, about remembering the importance of Granny and perhaps even more important, remembering (& not losing) the sense of wonder and playfulness we had when we were younger.

I hope this short article has captured the importance of being able to change gear in any speech or presentation in order to be a more effectie story teller and influencer.

In my last post I focused on the delivery side of an impromptu speech but what about the content?   How do I stop by brain going blank and running out of things to say?

Well here are two further technique to help you wow your audience ;

Use the PEP model

• Position – Start by stating your position on the topic – do you agree or disagree?
  
• Explain – Now expand on that by explaining why you hold this view.  How can you justify it?  What evidence support it? What alternatives have you considered and why have you dismissed them?
• Position – End by restating your position confidently and authoritatively.  Some people are good at coming up with a powerful and clever closing quote but if inspiration escapes you try a simple “and so I believe ….”

Paint a picture: See, hear & feel.

Stories and case studies come to life when the speaker paints word pictures that hep us re-create the situation in our heads as they speak. To do this you need to use sensory specific language to bring your words to life.   A good tool to practice this skill is to describe  three things you could see, three things you could hear and three things you could feel (and also things you could taste and smell if appropriate).  This sort of detail really helps your audience see, hear and feel what you are talking about it.

For example, if your story is about meeting someone in the queue at the post office you could describe:

• See – What they were wearing, the looks on the faces of the other people in the queue, the curling posters on the notice boards etc.
• Hear – The muttering complaints from people in the queue next door, the laughter of a child playing at his mothers feet…
• Feel – The mounting frustration as all the other lines seemed to move faster than yours, the firmness of their grip as they warmly shook your hand etc.

Have fun experimenting with sensory word pictures and see for yourself how they can make even the dullest subject come alive.

When I was a sales manager I saw a number of potentially great communicators stall despite fantastic subject matter knowledge and great technique.   It was no surprise to me that sending them on a skills refresher course didn’t solve the problem as I instinctively knew that the problem lay at the level of identity and believe rather than skill or capability.

On numerous occasions I fought with my colleagues in the training department because they said that you couldn’t do anything about those sort of problems and so they would resort to their comfort zone.

Over the years I have studied lots of different methodologies and approaches seeking a simple way to solve this problem both for myself and my clients and I beleive I have finally found the solution.

It’s a process for challenging and transforming the thoughts that are behind our blockages and it comes courtesy of the work of American teacher and author Byron Katie.

Step 1 – Identify and write down the thoughts that are stopping you from getting the results you want:
e.g

• “My boss doesn’t think I’m confident enough to be  promoted”
• “They think I’m too young”
• “He won’t like me”
• “I’ll make a mess of it”

Step 2 – Choose one of the statements you wrote down and  then ask yourself “Is that thought true? – Yes or No?”

Step 3 – If the answer to step 2 is “Yes” then ask yourself “Is it absolutely true?”

• Close your eyes, go inside and wait for the honest answer to come from within you

Step 3 – “How do I react when I think that stressful thought?”

• What do you do?
• What do you think? What images come into your mind?
• How do you feel when you think that thought

Step 4 – Who would you be without that stressful thought?

• Close your eyes and see yourself doing what you want to be able to do, without that stressful thought

Repeat this process for every stressfull thought you wrote down and notice how you feel now.
NB:  I find that this process is a bit like peeling an onion, there are layers beneath layers but the wonderful thing is that the more you do it the easier it gets until you do it automatically.

Do you ever have the same problem I have?   I bet you do.   There you are sitting in front of your computer  with  blank powerpoint  or word template in front of you , a deadline looming and your mind is blank!

Unlocking our creativity and escaping the bind of writers block can be easier than you think – well that has been my experience anyway.    In this post I’d like to share a  technique I use to get the creative juices flowing again.

Change your location

It never ceases to amaze me how important my physical environment can be so whenever I get stuck I change my location and see what happens.   In the summer I go sit in the park.  In the winter I prefer a warm coffee shop, for obvious reasons!   Both seem to work well.    Nature is very stimulating and just noticing the trees, birds, clouds and people passing by is guaranteed to stimulate those neurones.

Likewise I find close proximity to other people works well too.   This surprised me initially because I thought it would have the opposite effect.    I suppose I got the idea from reading about how JK Rowling wrote the Harry Potter Novels in her local coffee shop.   Somehow the clatter and the chatter kick-start my brain and I am amazed at how much more creative I can be.

So I’m curious as to where the best place for you would be.   If you haven’t tried changing your space then I highly recommend you do.   And remember to share your own experiences with me and the other readers of this blog by posting a comment below.

This video clip serves four purposes for students of presentation and public speaking skills:

1. It demonstrates the value of a clearly structured message
2. It shows how things like eye contact, body language and vocal variety engage the audience
3. It shows how simple visual aids with well chosen images add to the presentation
4. It contains a valuable message that we all should learn and take heed of.

Enjoy

This post was promopted by a comment made by my wife Lyn after an early morning walk today.

It was a beautiful morning here in the South of Hampshire. The sky was just starting to colour up as the sun rose and the air was crisp and fresh. After a few minutes of silent contemplation we started to chat about anything and everything. In particular we gravitated towards talking about what it is that allows people to have the confidence to do amazing things such as present with confidence and conviction.

Self belief kept coming up in our conversation and then Lyn asked “How can we have more belief?”

My first answer surprised me when I said, “Maybe it’s not so much about doing something to havemore belief, but rather its about stopping doing things that erode our self beleif.”

As an example, a colleague I met at a networking event recently said, “the problem with me is that I don’t have sparkle” and so my talks are dull. This sounded to me like a limiting belief and when I asked them how they knew they didn’t have “sparkle” they replied “Somebody told me once, after a talk.”

So, based on the opinion of one person commenting on once example, they had generalised that comment to encompass every possible speaking situation across their whole life. How crazy is that?

Thankfully a few minutes after my response to their answer they suddenly said, “Well actually, I’ve just remembered that the speech I gave when I got married was really good and I got lots of praise for it afterwards.” When I asked them ” Did you sparkle on that occasion?” They said “Yes!” and I could see from the light in their eyes and the change in their expression that they had realised something very valuable.

So next time you put yourself down about your speaking abilities (or anything else for that matter!) remember my friend and his sparkle story. Do a reality check and see if you are really as bad as you think you are? Have you ever had good feedback? Have you ever been pleased with your own performance?

If you want to nurture your confidence one key step is to stop dwelling on your failures and putting yourself down.

Today I had the privilege of meeting up with my great friends and inspirational speakers Richard & Liz.     We talked about all sorts of things to do with success, self development and happiness and as ever, I left with a whole load of exciting new ideas and insights.

I could write several posts on the outcomes of this meeting but I just want to share one with you today.    We were talking about the ability of effective communicators to engage and connect with their audience.   Richard has an uncanny knack of coming up with a pithy, simple statement that is just bursting with meaning.  

Richard made the statement that “perfection isn’t the same as connection” and this got me thinking.   

Many presenters and speakers waste their time trying to create the “perfect” presentation and forget that the key to effective communication is connection not perfection.  In fact perfection tends to get in the way of connection.

Liz demonstrated this with a little story about a story that she heard on a personal; development CD recently.  The “guru” was telling the story of how a lady delegate had come up to him at the end of the break and asked “How can you possibly be happy all the time,”  Surely you must get just a little depressed sometime?”   To which the guru answered “no, I never get down any more.”   The immediate effect of this apparently perfect answer was to create a barrier between the lady and the speaker.   How could she possibly connect with someone who was so perfect!   

No I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet anyone who is really that perfect.  We all have our down times but that doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us human.   If we are going to connect with other human beings we need to be able to be authentic and honest.

One of the best ways of achieving connection is to share some of your own “story” with your audience.   And I don’t mean just the good stuff  either.   Let’s be real and by sharing our imperfections  connect with the rest of the human race who have imperfections too.

In a slight digression from my normal posts, I’d like to share some thoughts about limiting beleifs and how they hold us back from realising our true potential, be that as a presenter, influencer, parent  etc.   I hope you enjoy this short (5min) audio podcast.

Just make sure your speakers are turned on and click on the little arrow below.

 

 Prisoners of our own beliefs [5:25m]: Play Now | Play in Popup

Happy New  to you all.  
I was wondering if any of you had applied the principle of setting New Years Resolutions to your Presentation and Public Speaking skills yet.    Here are some suggestions that might get you thinking…

I resolve to learn how to use PowerPoint effectively so that I don’t bore the pants of my audiences as much as I did in 2007!

• I resolve to “feel the fear and do it anyway” the next time I see an opportunity to present or speak in public because I finally realise the benefits that overcoming my fears can bring.

I resolve to seek help to overcome my presentation skills nerves.

• I resolve to think about my audience first when preparing my presentations.  I will consider who they are, what their attitude to my topic is and how I can make by content relevant to them in the first 30 seconds of my presentation.
• I resolve to always establish a clear outcome for my presentation or speech BEFORE I start to write it! Never again will I give a presentation that leaves the audience saying “What was that all about?”
• I resolve to give my presentations a clear structure with an attention grabbing beginning, a logical and emotional middle and a strong conclusion with a clear call to action.

I’m sure you can think of many others. Please let me know what your suggestions are and I’ll publish them on this blog!

Gavin

I’ve been training presentation and public speaking skills for more than ten years now and today I’d like to share one thing I learned which has had the biggest single impact on the results I get.   If you are curious to know what it it, then read on.

I still remember the first bit of feedback I got when I stood up to give a talk.   The giver, no doubt intending to be helpful told me that I had said “um” 42 times in my three minute talk.   It’s all too easy to be critical but the question is, does giving critical feedback work?  Does it have the desired effect of improving performance and changing behaviour?   I’ve been a manager and a trainer for more than 20 years and I have learned the hard way that most critical feedback, no matter how well meant, has the opposite effect.  

Why should this be?   Well I’d like you first to follow the instructions in the following statement.

What ever you do, – Do not think of a purple elephant!   Under no circumstances should you think of a purple elephant!

So what happened?  Of course you couldn’t do anything else but imagine a purple pachyderm.   It’s the way or mind works, we cannot not think of something.   Our attention inevitably goes to the thing that is unwanted or forbidden.  

Now imagine you say to someone, “don’t keep saying um.  You have a habit of saying it at the end of every sentence and you must stop saying um if you are to improve.”   Immediately your attention is drawn to the very thing that you don’t want to do as an a result you do more of it!      “Energy flows where attention goes”

Now imagine i said to you this instead. “I want you to concentrate on saying nothing at the end of every sentence.  Put a pause in, as you think of the next thing you are going to say.”   Now notice what you focus on.

But there is more to it than this.   Critical feedback hurts! 

When I started teaching presentation skills I used to give lots of “constructive” feedback which inevitably meant pointing out things that people were doing wrong.    No matter how sensitively I gave this feedback, I could see the pain in the eyes of my students and despite their accepting nods, Is till saw the same unwanted behaviours repeated time after time.

 And then I went to America for an NLP trainers workshop. During those long hard three weeks we would all be expected to give lots of presentations but a the beginning of the course, Robert Dilts our tutor introduced the concept of “Positive Feedback Only”  He challenged us to focus on commenting solely on what we liked about the presenters delivery, structure or visual aids and other than that to phrase or suggestions for improvement in terms of  “what presenter could do more of that would make his talk even better”.

Initially we were all sceptical about this approach but we quickly discovered that it has a hauge impact on the presenter and people improved far faster than using traditional critical feedback techniques.  

When I got back from the States I incorporated this approach into my own one day workshops and the impact was huge!   The degree of improvement I started seeing over a day was at least 25% greater than previously.   So if you need some help with your presenting here are some suggestions to help you get the most change in the shortest possible time;

• Tell your audiences to keep any negative feedback to themselves but that you will be delighted to receive any amount of positive feedback.  My good friend Richard Wilkins does this at the start of every talk and it works a treat as well as getting a good laugh and lots of nods of agreement.
• Encourage others to confine their feedback to two areas – What specifically did I do that you liked or that worked?  What could I do more of that would make it even better.
• If you are looking for a trainer or coach, ask them how they give  feedback.  If the tell you that they will spend any more than 5% of the time telling you what you are doing wrong – walk away!