A  recent comment to one of my earlier posts by Stephen Hendren prompted me to review some of the research on positivity and performance.
Thanks to his post, I found a great video interview by Positivity researcher Barbara Fredrickson.  I thought you might like it so I have included it in this post.  Dr Fredrickson’s key message is that there is a proven 3:1 “positivity ratio” needed to generate the positive emotions required to enhance self esteem and personal performance.

When I ask the people who attend my workshops what is the difference that makes the difference between and average speaker and a great speaker they often come up “presence”.
When I go on to ask them to be a bit more specific about what they mean by presence, they tend to struggle.

So what exactly is presence? And more importantly how can anyone develop this quality in themselves? Well I am not sure I know all the answers but I have some ideas to get you thinking.

Presence is the label we give to someone who displays a number of distinct qualities:

Confidence in themselves
Being comfortable in their own skin and in the location
Charisma
A sense of deep connection with thier audience
A relaxed but focused approach
Being fully present I.e. Grounded in the present moment
The ability to flow with whatever is happening

I am sure you could add your own labels.

Presence is undoubtedly very important but is it something that can be learned? I think it can and in the next article I will be exploring some initial thoughts on how to cultivate it. I would also love to hear from you.
What does presence mean to you?
What behaviours create a perception of presence?
What sort of mind set is needed to allow someone to demonstrate presence?

Go on, don’t be shy, your opinions and ideas are valid and other people would love to read them so post your comments below.

Gavin Meikle
The Presentation Doctor.

When I was a sales manager I saw a number of potentially great communicators stall despite fantastic subject matter knowledge and great technique.   It was no surprise to me that sending them on a skills refresher course didn’t solve the problem as I instinctively knew that the problem lay at the level of identity and believe rather than skill or capability.

On numerous occasions I fought with my colleagues in the training department because they said that you couldn’t do anything about those sort of problems and so they would resort to their comfort zone.

Over the years I have studied lots of different methodologies and approaches seeking a simple way to solve this problem both for myself and my clients and I beleive I have finally found the solution.

It’s a process for challenging and transforming the thoughts that are behind our blockages and it comes courtesy of the work of American teacher and author Byron Katie.

Step 1 – Identify and write down the thoughts that are stopping you from getting the results you want:
e.g

• “My boss doesn’t think I’m confident enough to be  promoted”
• “They think I’m too young”
• “He won’t like me”
• “I’ll make a mess of it”

Step 2 – Choose one of the statements you wrote down and  then ask yourself “Is that thought true? – Yes or No?”

Step 3 – If the answer to step 2 is “Yes” then ask yourself “Is it absolutely true?”

• Close your eyes, go inside and wait for the honest answer to come from within you

Step 3 – “How do I react when I think that stressful thought?”

• What do you do?
• What do you think? What images come into your mind?
• How do you feel when you think that thought

Step 4 – Who would you be without that stressful thought?

• Close your eyes and see yourself doing what you want to be able to do, without that stressful thought

Repeat this process for every stressfull thought you wrote down and notice how you feel now.
NB:  I find that this process is a bit like peeling an onion, there are layers beneath layers but the wonderful thing is that the more you do it the easier it gets until you do it automatically.

I have just returned from a camping holiday in Dorset and whilst away I had the delight of lighting and then tending a camp fire every evening.   As I was gazing into the embers one evening it suddenly struck me that there are a number of similarities between lighting a camp fire and developing someone’s presentation or public speaking confidence.

As anyone who has tried to light a fire will know it is not always an easy job.   If the sticks are to thick or too damp, it is difficult to get the fire to take hold.   One has to look for a glowing ember and then feed and nurture it so that it glows brighter and brighter until it eventually bursts into flame.

Bringing out the confidence to speak in front of an audience requires the same approach.  Constructive criticism at too early a stage can have the same effect as putting damp wood on the fire – it puts it out!  Positive reinforcement and praise, on the other hand, fans the embers and causes them to glow brighter.

As a public speaking and presentation skills trainer I have often had to spend time undoing all the “good work” done by others who sought to help by telling their colleagues what they were doing wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that there is a place for constructive criticism but not in the early stages of the novice speakers career.

Why not tell me what you think

I had a fascinating conversation today over lunch which I thought I’d share with you.   I was speaking to a colleague who does a lot of work as a professional master of ceremonies and facilitator at conference and events  Our conversation covered a range of interesting things including voice projection and accents but we happened to stray onto the topic of what makes a great presenter and from there onto the question of can anyone be taught to present well.

After batting the argument back and forth we agreed that, technically at least, almost anyone could be taught to be a reasonably competent and confident presenter .  However  the time and  effort required may well be, in some cases, disproportionately large and in many cases it may make better sense to let a more confident and natural speaker deliver your messages.  In other words we should play to our natural talents rather than trying to become great at everything.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this controversial topic.   Do you agree or disagree post your comments and lets open up a lively debate.

As part of a recent presentation skills coaching programme for a large client, I have been reviewing videos of some of their top directors presenting at a company conference. Some presenters got it right and got great evaluations and others clearly didn’t and,as an external observer the reasons for the latter were clear

• Lack of connection with the audience
• Lack of clear purpose (as perceived by the audience)
• No obvious audience benefit
• Presenting only lists impersonal statistics, facts and figures with no clear structure, point or flow
• Wooden, unexpressive “professional” performances. If the presenter doesn’t appear to care about the subject why on earth should the audience?
• Boring word dense, image scares bullet point slides. Written text is a poor excuse for a visual aid!
• Lack of audience involvement

So if you have a presentation to give in the next few weeks or months what can you do to ensure that you win the audience attention and motivation stakes?

Preparation:

• Have a clear purpose for your presentation. What are you trying to achieve as a result of this speech and what do you want the audience to do at the end of it?
• Establish the relevance of your content to the audience early on in the presentation. What is in it for them? Why should they listen? And don’t forget to tell them early on in your presentation?
• Design your presentation as a story which has a logical flow and emotional content to support it.
• Keep your visual aids clean and simple. Ban the bullet point and have only one idea per slide. Replace those words with an attention getting or emotive photograph. Read presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds if you need some inspiration.

Delivery:

• Avoid reading a script or auto cue. This will reduce eye contact and therefore connection with your audience. It will also make you sound dull, stilted and boring. Spoken English is different from written English. If you must have a script, record your speech first as you would like to say it and then have the recording transcribed.
• Don’t be afraid to show your emotion, Yes it is a business environment but human beings are hard wired to be driven by emotions. If you don’t evoke an emotional response in your audience they will not be motivated to follow your recommendations.
• Use your full vocal range to engage and enthral the audience – Everything from a roar to a sotto Voce whisper is at your disposal. Don’t be afraid of exaggeration in order to stretch your comfort zone and show your passion , enthusiasm or disappointment. Oh yes and don’t forget the power of a well placed silence too.
• Use your body language to reinforce your messages and project confide3nce and the appropriate degree of gravitas. An open upright posture, large open gestures, plenty of facial expression. Make sure that your body is sending out the same messages as your words and voice otherwise your audience won’t believe you.
• Be willing to experiment and accept that as a result you will make a few mistakes along the way. Perfection isn’t connection and your audience will empathise with you if you show that you too are human.
• Be present and in the moment during your presentation. If you are remembering the past or worrying about the future then your mind is not in the here and now and the audience will notice it.

Good luck!

Gavin Meikle
The Internet Presentation Coach

Whether you a presenting to one person or one thousand, the ability to project authority and credibility is crucial.     The question is how do you do it?   

Authority, or “gravitas” as some people call it, is a desirable yet nebulous characteristic that is closely related to charisma.  We all recognise it but are hard put to identify what it is a person says or does that creates it.

Some people undoubtedly have more natural authority than others but I believe that everyone can learn some simple techniques to “turn it on” at will.

Having studied many different presenters I have identified 5 key cues that project a perception of authority and credibility.

1. Eye contact  – Practice making and holding eye contact for up to 5seconds
2. Maximising personal space through stance – Develop an open upright, relaxed stance
3. Head stillness when speaking – High authority figures keep their head still when they speak (helps with eye contact too)
4. Being comfortable and easy with using pauses of varying lengths.  If silence is golden then pauses are “nuggets of gold” to quote my friend Marian Way
5. Eliminating face and hair touching – These mannersims lower your percieved status so learn to eliminate them.

Don’t take my word for it though, test out this by experimenting with these techniques yourself and observe others who you consider to be high credibility speakers and you will see that they are universal.

NB: Lots of people comment on my posts and thus add value to the whole topic so please join them in sharing your views and examples because it will help all of us.

This post was promopted by a comment made by my wife Lyn after an early morning walk today.

It was a beautiful morning here in the South of Hampshire. The sky was just starting to colour up as the sun rose and the air was crisp and fresh. After a few minutes of silent contemplation we started to chat about anything and everything. In particular we gravitated towards talking about what it is that allows people to have the confidence to do amazing things such as present with confidence and conviction.

Self belief kept coming up in our conversation and then Lyn asked “How can we have more belief?”

My first answer surprised me when I said, “Maybe it’s not so much about doing something to havemore belief, but rather its about stopping doing things that erode our self beleif.”

As an example, a colleague I met at a networking event recently said, “the problem with me is that I don’t have sparkle” and so my talks are dull. This sounded to me like a limiting belief and when I asked them how they knew they didn’t have “sparkle” they replied “Somebody told me once, after a talk.”

So, based on the opinion of one person commenting on once example, they had generalised that comment to encompass every possible speaking situation across their whole life. How crazy is that?

Thankfully a few minutes after my response to their answer they suddenly said, “Well actually, I’ve just remembered that the speech I gave when I got married was really good and I got lots of praise for it afterwards.” When I asked them ” Did you sparkle on that occasion?” They said “Yes!” and I could see from the light in their eyes and the change in their expression that they had realised something very valuable.

So next time you put yourself down about your speaking abilities (or anything else for that matter!) remember my friend and his sparkle story. Do a reality check and see if you are really as bad as you think you are? Have you ever had good feedback? Have you ever been pleased with your own performance?

If you want to nurture your confidence one key step is to stop dwelling on your failures and putting yourself down.

Today I had the privilege of meeting up with my great friends and inspirational speakers Richard & Liz.     We talked about all sorts of things to do with success, self development and happiness and as ever, I left with a whole load of exciting new ideas and insights.

I could write several posts on the outcomes of this meeting but I just want to share one with you today.    We were talking about the ability of effective communicators to engage and connect with their audience.   Richard has an uncanny knack of coming up with a pithy, simple statement that is just bursting with meaning.  

Richard made the statement that “perfection isn’t the same as connection” and this got me thinking.   

Many presenters and speakers waste their time trying to create the “perfect” presentation and forget that the key to effective communication is connection not perfection.  In fact perfection tends to get in the way of connection.

Liz demonstrated this with a little story about a story that she heard on a personal; development CD recently.  The “guru” was telling the story of how a lady delegate had come up to him at the end of the break and asked “How can you possibly be happy all the time,”  Surely you must get just a little depressed sometime?”   To which the guru answered “no, I never get down any more.”   The immediate effect of this apparently perfect answer was to create a barrier between the lady and the speaker.   How could she possibly connect with someone who was so perfect!   

No I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet anyone who is really that perfect.  We all have our down times but that doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us human.   If we are going to connect with other human beings we need to be able to be authentic and honest.

One of the best ways of achieving connection is to share some of your own “story” with your audience.   And I don’t mean just the good stuff  either.   Let’s be real and by sharing our imperfections  connect with the rest of the human race who have imperfections too.

I’ve been training presentation and public speaking skills for more than ten years now and today I’d like to share one thing I learned which has had the biggest single impact on the results I get.   If you are curious to know what it it, then read on.

I still remember the first bit of feedback I got when I stood up to give a talk.   The giver, no doubt intending to be helpful told me that I had said “um” 42 times in my three minute talk.   It’s all too easy to be critical but the question is, does giving critical feedback work?  Does it have the desired effect of improving performance and changing behaviour?   I’ve been a manager and a trainer for more than 20 years and I have learned the hard way that most critical feedback, no matter how well meant, has the opposite effect.  

Why should this be?   Well I’d like you first to follow the instructions in the following statement.

What ever you do, – Do not think of a purple elephant!   Under no circumstances should you think of a purple elephant!

So what happened?  Of course you couldn’t do anything else but imagine a purple pachyderm.   It’s the way or mind works, we cannot not think of something.   Our attention inevitably goes to the thing that is unwanted or forbidden.  

Now imagine you say to someone, “don’t keep saying um.  You have a habit of saying it at the end of every sentence and you must stop saying um if you are to improve.”   Immediately your attention is drawn to the very thing that you don’t want to do as an a result you do more of it!      “Energy flows where attention goes”

Now imagine i said to you this instead. “I want you to concentrate on saying nothing at the end of every sentence.  Put a pause in, as you think of the next thing you are going to say.”   Now notice what you focus on.

But there is more to it than this.   Critical feedback hurts! 

When I started teaching presentation skills I used to give lots of “constructive” feedback which inevitably meant pointing out things that people were doing wrong.    No matter how sensitively I gave this feedback, I could see the pain in the eyes of my students and despite their accepting nods, Is till saw the same unwanted behaviours repeated time after time.

 And then I went to America for an NLP trainers workshop. During those long hard three weeks we would all be expected to give lots of presentations but a the beginning of the course, Robert Dilts our tutor introduced the concept of “Positive Feedback Only”  He challenged us to focus on commenting solely on what we liked about the presenters delivery, structure or visual aids and other than that to phrase or suggestions for improvement in terms of  “what presenter could do more of that would make his talk even better”.

Initially we were all sceptical about this approach but we quickly discovered that it has a hauge impact on the presenter and people improved far faster than using traditional critical feedback techniques.  

When I got back from the States I incorporated this approach into my own one day workshops and the impact was huge!   The degree of improvement I started seeing over a day was at least 25% greater than previously.   So if you need some help with your presenting here are some suggestions to help you get the most change in the shortest possible time;

• Tell your audiences to keep any negative feedback to themselves but that you will be delighted to receive any amount of positive feedback.  My good friend Richard Wilkins does this at the start of every talk and it works a treat as well as getting a good laugh and lots of nods of agreement.
• Encourage others to confine their feedback to two areas – What specifically did I do that you liked or that worked?  What could I do more of that would make it even better.
• If you are looking for a trainer or coach, ask them how they give  feedback.  If the tell you that they will spend any more than 5% of the time telling you what you are doing wrong – walk away!