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I do a lot of networking and one thing I have noticed recently is how  many small businesses are starting to expect the worst from the current economic situation.  Their heads are going down and they are in danger of creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

We can’t avoid it given the amount of negativity around in the media but we can do something about it.   And I don;t just mean stopping buying doom laden newspapers and listening to less news (although that is not a bad start and is a philosophy I practice myself).  One of the great things about being human is the gift of free will that allows us to choose our response to a given stimuli.

Jim Rohn, the American personal development guru once said that the most important lesson he learned when he was a young struggling buisnessman was that it was not the economy that was holding him back it was his philosophy!

Our thinking patterns and approach are the key to our survival in these challenging times.   The good news is that you can do something about them.   It’s a simpler three step process!

Step 1:  Notice when you are thoughts are holding you back

Step 2:  Re-tune your mental radio to a different, more empowering station.

Step 3: Take action from this more resourceful mindeset.

It is that simple but I didn’t say it was easy!   It takes time and effort but it can be done.   I guess the question is do you want to put in the effort and take control of the wheel or are you happy to followthe masses.  I know what I am going to do and I invite you to join me.

Why is it that so many business presentations are dry, dull and innefective? Well it could be the presenter’s delivery style or it could be the tedious and wordy powerpoint slides they insist on using but I think there is an even more dangerous principle at work here.

I think that most business presenters think that emotions are left at the door when one walks into the office. People want facts right? Disspassionate, rational arguements supported by lots of data right?

NO! No! No!
It is impossible for us to check our emotions in at the door. Human beings are by definition emotional and therefore no matter how logical we like to think we are, emotions are at the heart of our decision making strategies. If you want to “motivate” your audience to do something as a result of your presentation then you have to engage their “emotional brain”.as well as their logical and analytical side.

Sometimes these emotions will be positive and you can have them imagine what it will feel like when they are experiencing the benefits of your recommended course of action.

And, as I have commented before in earlier posts, sometimes you need to arouse negative emotions such as fear or discomfort. “Imagine what will happen to the company if we don’t adapt to the recent technological changes sweeping our specialism?” “Will we still have a business in two years time if we don’t act now?”

So, realting all this to your own presentations in the future. Think how great you will feel when you can clearly see that your audience are following your arguments and you can tell from the smiles on their faces and the nooding heads, that they are ready and indeed eager to implement your suggestions as soon as they get back to their desks.

Of course you could just keep on doing things the way you have always done them, relying on cold hard facts to do the job on their own. But can you afford the failure rate that such a one sided strategy will inevitably bring? Sure it will work sometimes but is that really good enough in todays tough business climate? Only you can make the call.

This video clip serves four purposes for students of presentation and public speaking skills:

1. It demonstrates the value of a clearly structured message
2. It shows how things like eye contact, body language and vocal variety engage the audience
3. It shows how simple visual aids with well chosen images add to the presentation
4. It contains a valuable message that we all should learn and take heed of.

Enjoy

I have just returned from a camping holiday in Dorset and whilst away I had the delight of lighting and then tending a camp fire every evening.   As I was gazing into the embers one evening it suddenly struck me that there are a number of similarities between lighting a camp fire and developing someone’s presentation or public speaking confidence.

As anyone who has tried to light a fire will know it is not always an easy job.   If the sticks are to thick or too damp, it is difficult to get the fire to take hold.   One has to look for a glowing ember and then feed and nurture it so that it glows brighter and brighter until it eventually bursts into flame.

Bringing out the confidence to speak in front of an audience requires the same approach.  Constructive criticism at too early a stage can have the same effect as putting damp wood on the fire - it puts it out!  Positive reinforcement and praise, on the other hand, fans the embers and causes them to glow brighter.

As a public speaking and presentation skills trainer I have often had to spend time undoing all the “good work” done by others who sought to help by telling their colleagues what they were doing wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that there is a place for constructive criticism but not in the early stages of the novice speakers career.

Why not tell me what you think

Today I was phoned by a guy who I have met on a couple of occasions at local networking events.  he works for a company called the disc directory, a local on-line business directory covering Portsmouth and Southampton.

Now I’m pretty hard on tele-sales people but his approach was so refreshing that I just had to post on it.   He called me up, started by saying something like ” Remember the good looking guy who’s been bumping into  you around the local networking scene regularly> - Well that’s not me!  I’m the ugly one and I promised to call you”  - So far so good, he made me laugh and his tone and delivery were congruent.

Then he said”   I’m going to be really direct, it’s Friday afternoon and I’ve got my targets to hit  so I am prepared to offer you a great deal.  Three categories for half price?  How does that sound?”

I paused and he said ” I know you are just wondering which of my arms you are going to bite off to take this great deal.  Well I can tell you that they are both equally tender so it doesn’t have to be difficult.  What do you say?”

Again he made me laugh and I was hooked and after a bit more discussion I agreed.

Now I am not saying that this irreverent and cheeky approach is the one to use all the time but it has it’s place.  He had ready my right and decided to give it ago and it paid off!

What’s the cheekiest sales pitch you have used or had used on you that has worked?

Charisma, some people have it and some don’t! How often have we heard that comment. everyone agrees that is an important and desirable characteristic whether you are a salesperson, a team leader, a presenter or a teacher but it seems such an intangible thing. Wikipedia, the online reference source defines it as follows:
The word charisma (from the Greek word χάρισμα (kharisma), “gift” or “divine favor,” from kharizesthai, “to favor,” from kharis, “favor”: see also charism) refers to a rare trait found in certain human personalities usually including extreme charm and a ‘magnetic’ quality of personality …
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charisma

If anything this definition just serves to reinforce the belief that it is rare and “god given”. Well I happen to disagree. I believe that everyone is intrinsically charismatic but that, through conditioning, many of us have learned to suppress our natural charisma. In my workshops I use a range of methods to help people rediscover their own innate charisma but I’d like to share with you three ideas to get you challenging your own limiting beliefs about how charismatic you are.

Tip 1: Stop telling yourself that you are not a charismatic person.
The language we use when we talk to ourselves is much more powerful than we think. If you keep focusing on your lack of charisma and reminding yourself of it, should you really be surprised when you seem to be repelling rather than attracting others.

Tip 2: Mimic some of the physical behaviours of people you consider to be charismatic.
If you were at a networking event and you walked around with your shoulders slumped and your head down would you be more or less charismatic? If you gave only fleeting eye contact to others, gabbled nervously, and spoke inarticulately how will others rate you in the charisma stakes? Act as if you were charismatic by observing what charismatic people do and then emulating some of those traits. You will be amazed at the effect it has, both on others and on yourself!

Tip 3: When speaking to others have the intention of raising their status and self esteem.
Charismatic people don’t only look and sound confident and authoritative, they also naturally build up the status of others whenever they interact with them. Bill Clinton is an excellent example of this. I know someone who met him and described vividly how, when he spoke to them, he gave them his full attention, listened intently and then responded with a comment that validated and built upon whatever they had said. He never tried to put them down. He knew the secret that when you raise the status of others in this way, you raise your own status too in a non threatening and magnetic way.

So there you have it. Some thoughts on how to develop your own charisma. Imagine the effect it could have on your own career or business success. I know these ideas work because I have personally used them myself. So do yourself a favour and give yourself a charisma transplant today.

Whether you a presenting to one person or one thousand, the ability to project authority and credibility is crucial.     The question is how do you do it?   

Authority, or “gravitas” as some people call it, is a desirable yet nebulous characteristic that is closely related to charisma.  We all recognise it but are hard put to identify what it is a person says or does that creates it.

Some people undoubtedly have more natural authority than others but I believe that everyone can learn some simple techniques to “turn it on” at will.

Having studied many different presenters I have identified 5 key cues that project a perception of authority and credibility.

1. Eye contact  - Practice making and holding eye contact for up to 5seconds
2. Maximising personal space through stance - Develop an open upright, relaxed stance
3. Head stillness when speaking - High authority figures keep their head still when they speak (helps with eye contact too)
4. Being comfortable and easy with using pauses of varying lengths.  If silence is golden then pauses are “nuggets of gold” to quote my friend Marian Way
5. Eliminating face and hair touching - These mannersims lower your percieved status so learn to eliminate them.

Don’t take my word for it though, test out this by experimenting with these techniques yourself and observe others who you consider to be high credibility speakers and you will see that they are universal.

NB: Lots of people comment on my posts and thus add value to the whole topic so please join them in sharing your views and examples because it will help all of us.

This post was promopted by a comment made by my wife Lyn after an early morning walk today.

It was a beautiful morning here in the South of Hampshire. The sky was just starting to colour up as the sun rose and the air was crisp and fresh. After a few minutes of silent contemplation we started to chat about anything and everything. In particular we gravitated towards talking about what it is that allows people to have the confidence to do amazing things such as present with confidence and conviction.

Self belief kept coming up in our conversation and then Lyn asked “How can we have more belief?”

My first answer surprised me when I said, “Maybe it’s not so much about doing something to havemore belief, but rather its about stopping doing things that erode our self beleif.”

As an example, a colleague I met at a networking event recently said, “the problem with me is that I don’t have sparkle” and so my talks are dull. This sounded to me like a limiting belief and when I asked them how they knew they didn’t have “sparkle” they replied “Somebody told me once, after a talk.”

So, based on the opinion of one person commenting on once example, they had generalised that comment to encompass every possible speaking situation across their whole life. How crazy is that?

Thankfully a few minutes after my response to their answer they suddenly said, “Well actually, I’ve just remembered that the speech I gave when I got married was really good and I got lots of praise for it afterwards.” When I asked them ” Did you sparkle on that occasion?” They said “Yes!” and I could see from the light in their eyes and the change in their expression that they had realised something very valuable.

So next time you put yourself down about your speaking abilities (or anything else for that matter!) remember my friend and his sparkle story. Do a reality check and see if you are really as bad as you think you are? Have you ever had good feedback? Have you ever been pleased with your own performance?

If you want to nurture your confidence one key step is to stop dwelling on your failures and putting yourself down.

Today I had the privilege of meeting up with my great friends and inspirational speakers Richard & Liz.     We talked about all sorts of things to do with success, self development and happiness and as ever, I left with a whole load of exciting new ideas and insights.

I could write several posts on the outcomes of this meeting but I just want to share one with you today.    We were talking about the ability of effective communicators to engage and connect with their audience.   Richard has an uncanny knack of coming up with a pithy, simple statement that is just bursting with meaning.  

Richard made the statement that “perfection isn’t the same as connection” and this got me thinking.   

Many presenters and speakers waste their time trying to create the “perfect” presentation and forget that the key to effective communication is connection not perfection.  In fact perfection tends to get in the way of connection.

Liz demonstrated this with a little story about a story that she heard on a personal; development CD recently.  The “guru” was telling the story of how a lady delegate had come up to him at the end of the break and asked “How can you possibly be happy all the time,”  Surely you must get just a little depressed sometime?”   To which the guru answered “no, I never get down any more.”   The immediate effect of this apparently perfect answer was to create a barrier between the lady and the speaker.   How could she possibly connect with someone who was so perfect!   

No I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet anyone who is really that perfect.  We all have our down times but that doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us human.   If we are going to connect with other human beings we need to be able to be authentic and honest.

One of the best ways of achieving connection is to share some of your own “story” with your audience.   And I don’t mean just the good stuff  either.   Let’s be real and by sharing our imperfections  connect with the rest of the human race who have imperfections too.

Even the most experienced managers can be paralysed by nerves.    I see it almost every time I run a course and I know that, with the help and support of a good coach and fellow students this  fear can be overcome.  There are lots of techniques to help including;

• Deep breathing
• Visualisation
• Holding a little saliva in your mouth
• Acting as if…

The problem is that most of these only provide symptomatic relief.     In order to get to the root of the problem once and for all we have to explore what causes the fear to build and grow.    I notice that all nervous presenters have at least one thing in common (apart form their fear that is!).    They all can vividly describe the symptoms of their fear and how it develops.   For some it’s flushing spreading up from the chest to the face, for others it’s a dry mouth and so on.   Interestingly I and the other observers can see little or no outward signs of these apparently huge and uncontrollable symptoms.

I believe that this ability to describe the symptoms that are almost always invisible to the audience holds the key to the problem.   In order to be able to give these vivid descriptions, the sufferer must be paying exquisite attention to their own internal feelings and physiology.  And of course, the more we pay attention to something, the bigger and scarier it seems to get.    I’m sure you can remember being awoken in the night by a strange noise in your house.   The more you listen for it, the more your mind paints a picture of scary burglars armed to the teeth and determined to hurt yo and your loved ones.  Of curse, if you do manage to pluck up the courage to get up and investigate, you inevitably discover that it was just a creaky pipe or an open window banging.  Energy flows where attention goes. 

So, if that’s the problem, what is the solution?

You have probably worked it out for yourself already.  You need to start paying exquisite attention to something else, and, in the case of a presentation, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that the audience is the place to go.   When you start paying attention to them, you stop paying attention to yourself and the nerves start to dissipate.